Captain Canine

Dogs are fine. Other people's dogs are other people's problem. I have no problem with dogs. Arrogant troopship captains with dogs are another matter.

"Your dog," I told him. "You clean up after him."

"I have a meeting to attend, and someone needs to take Comet for a walk," Miller said, holding out the leash.

"Or better yet," I continued as if I hadn't heard. "Train him to use the canine auto-facilities in the nearest park."

He continued to hold out the leash. I was sure Captain Miller understood I wasn't his aide or the local dog walker. I was also fairly certain he had no illusions about our first meeting, but the man seemed determined to push my buttons.

"I'm an unpleasant, sadistic jerk," I said. "Why do you keep calling me?"

He blinked at me a couple of times, then dropped his hand to his side and grinned. "I hadn't thought about it, but I suspect it's because you are the only sane person I've met here."

"That was an accident," I said. I had no idea what he was talking about.

He knew that too.

"You left me hanging in the hydro-park for two hours--with no gravity--guarded by a trained chimpanzee," he said, still grinning.

I nodded politely and wondered if he was the type to hide his revenge behind a grin.

He shook his head. "I thought you folks were going to take my ship. I floated there for two hours thinking about it. I don't like loosing ships."

"We don't need any more ships," I said with a frown. "Especially those monstrosities. I want to puke just thinking about the first two days of initial thrust... What, two Gees, two and a half?"

"One point eight," he said. "What I'm trying to say is you treated me like I expected to be treated. Even when you came back to assign me rooms instead of a cell. And you treated Curious like... like you hadn't noticed he was a chimpanzee."

"We're friends," I said. "And it used to make people crazy."

He nodded. "I didn't understand you had no intention of confiscating my ship until Kelly stopped by to invite me over for dinner," Miller said. "Wonderful person. I don't know why the Martian Republic cares about it. So, Kelly thought I was joking when I asked about it. It hadn't even occurred to her."

"And all of this makes me sane?" I asked him.

He laughed.

"Half sane," he said. "Everything else was so strange... Those slush-bomb... Vines everywhere... I was wandering alone through a half-ruined space station, wearing enemy atmo-gear, and no one seemed to care. You were the most normal encounter I'd had since arriving in Saturn System."

"I'm still not going to walk your dog."

He laughed again.

"I'm going to be low on time for a few days, and Comet chews when he is bored. I suspected if I annoyed you properly, you'd come up with a good suggestion. The hydro-park has canine care facilities? I'll look into it. Thank you."

"Yeah," I muttered, not sure if I was irritated or amused by the captain's tactics.

He reached down and rubbed the back of Comet's head. Comet's tail thumped against the deck a couple of times.

"Do you think Comet could get one of those bio-suits like Curious?" Captain Miller asked.

"Probably," I said. "All three of my insane cats have one. Many of the station cats have them. And most of the chimpanzees have one.... Well, the symbiote anyway."

"You have cats?"

"Yes."

The captain nodded. "Then we won't talk about pets."

So maybe he's not a prick. And the arrogance could be breeding.